When I first started as a psychotherapist I was very cognizant of my need to do this job "right", and as a consequence ---although very good at my job----clung to "textbook" versions as I shared the "correct" explanations and "perfect" strategies with my clients. , , Personally I was frozen. Paralyzed as I watched my life unravel. My marriage was not what I dreamed it would be and I hardly knew who I was let alone who I was as a mother (later a single mother). I faced----okay to be completely honest----I avoided all my pain as I depended on reason to sort out my chaos and find my way. It wasn't until I was cloaked in grief that I completely surrendered and faced the excruciating heartache of letting go of life on MY terms. , , One minute, one hour, one day at a time I did the next best things and found a new sense of peace, myself and my world. I saw Glennon Melton Doyle on youtube and identified with her instruction to lean into the pain and to teach my children how to cope with pain not protect them from it. I read Daring Greatly and worked on my shame and lived Brene Brown's words "BE the person you want your children to grow up to be". I worked with a fellow wounded he